So the Dutton house has gotten a lot fuller and more busy than ever! We have some foster children with us! Because of privacy laws and what not we can not give out much information or post pictures but trust me we have some CUTE kids! In one day we went from having one child every other weekend to four! There is one boy who is four, a girl that is almost 2 and an other girl who is 4 months old. So as you might guess we are busy! It would take too much time to tell the whole story of the events the lead up to us getting them and to record the past 3 weeks so I will just recap my feeling on our experience.
When I got the call to see if we were willing to take the 3 siblings I instantly felt like it was the right thing to do. But at the same time I was on my way to coach special Olympics and would be four hours away for the next three days. So as I was emotionally trying to figure out what to do I was also driving a van full of athletes! Finally I found a way home (thanks Aireal and Grandma!) and made the long drive home. Let me just tell ya, I was in a daze thinking of everything I needed, groceries I needed to buy and mostly I was worried if my first instincts where right. Could we really handle this? This would be our first foster placement so it would be hard, and then triple that! Was I crazy. How was this going to effect our everyday life? Bryan and I were so use to it just being us, how was that going to effect our marriage? What about Kirianna, was she going to get the attention she is use to? Will she know that even though we have these kids that we still love her the same? And then there was all our summer plans how can we do all of them with all the kids? And my projects I wanted to do, where would I get the time? So many what ifs running through my head! Then I stopped and realized that those where all mostly selfish thoughts and that I needed to think really what would Heavenly Father want me to do? I know that the Lord has prepared and directed Bryan and I to this point in our life so he would for sure back us up when we need it.
Ok so I have to admit I have been typing this post for the past three days. (when the kids are actually napping at the same time and I am ok with having a messy house ha ha) and each day my thoughts of what I want to write have been different so I am sorry if this is all jumbled. But as for today I have the feeling I want to just list the blessings I have seen our having have during this journey.
1. Our ability to love has multiplied. I have always loved kids and had no problem loving those that are not my own but it seems like this has just increased my knowledge that we are all truly Gods children. The sweetest part for me is to watch Bryans heart open up to these kids. To over hear him whispering I love you to the baby and getting hugs from the kids makes me fall so much more in love with him. Also Kirianna wants to help and be an example. She is an amazing big sister! Even our extended family has open their hearts up to these kids and I am so grateful for their help too!
2. I have come closer to my Savior. I have had to seek his help SO much to teach me how to be a better mother. I find my self constantly offering prayers for guidance, patients, and gratitude. I will tattle on myself a little. The second day we had the kids I was so exhausted that morning, I had traveled for 7 hours, been emotionally drained, had a cold and the baby was awake alot in the night. Then in the craziness of morning i lost it. For some reason I could not stop crying. Poor bryan was trying to leave for work and I was a mess. I am sure he was like "great we have all these kids and my wife has gone crazy" Try as I might I couldn't pull it together. so once bryan had left I went into the bathroom and had to go to the one who could comfort me the way I needed, My Heavenly Father. From that moment on I was given the peace and assurance that this was the right for our family. I will never forget the encouragement I received on that day from my Heavenly Father.
3. I am falling in love with my husband. Granted our time with each other is defiantly limited and not at all the same as it once was but I cherish it so much more now. From the time Bryan and I have dated we have spent every spare second we have with each other. I love it! We are not sick of each other yet! So this has been a change for sure having to share him. ha ha In spite of it all I have fallen for him all over again! He is an amazing father. So loving and great with the kids. I know he is tired from work when he gets home but still helps me and plays with them. He has made sure I am taken care of. I have to brag a little he still texts me on his lunch to chatt and check in! This happens ever day and has been going on since we dated! I love it! He knows how to let me know he loves me! I couldn't ask for a better man!
Since this post is way to long already I will end it! ha ha but will keep you all updated on our crazy life!
